Blogging is, like, hard

Tumblr was first described to me by what I can only assume was a very vapid and intoxicated young woman as, “like, blogging that’s like easier.  So like everyone can do it.”

Um, yeah. 

Pardon me, internet-using public, but I thought the whole point of blogging was that it is easier than say, writing a book or landing a column in print.  Blogging is for everyone.  Sure, I assume those who write good ones and those who write more regularly have a harder time.  But it’s not like there are rules and standards for Joe Schmoe blogs.  Post however much or little you want, or be like most of America and start a blog to which you will post nothing. 

Is this where we’re at, internet?  Making shorthand for our shorthand?

I may sound like the internet equivalent of a print journalist, griping about how the moronic masses will steal from a legitimate art, but come on.  There’s twitter if you feel the need to micro-blog, or facebook if you feel the need to do that but be incapable of understanding what you’re doing, and have it not work as well. 

Tumblr is essentially a home for brain farts, as Mr. Carroll used to call them.  It’s a home for your ADD.  Ahh i like this song.  and this picture.  and complaining for two seconds.  But I don’t really like words.  Done and done, you are a tumblr master. 

Chances are, if we’re friends, you already send me the random links that float through your brain.  And if we’re not, I don’t really need to see them in uber-truncated form. 

So do the internet a favor, and if you have something to say, say it.  If you don’t, please stick to the already wildly popular forms of expression the internet has afforded you: twitter, facebook and im.

A Lesson in Window Dressing from Mr. Carroll

In my Freshman year of high school, in Mr. Carroll’s class, I suddenly found myself getting yelled at.  For yawning.  I hadn’t even realized I’d done it, cuz I was tired and fourteen, but I immediately started arguing back, citing a study I had recently read about come people’s predisposition to yawning (to the point where just reading the word triggers it).  I yawned involuntarily several times the argument, as well as this paragraph, whcih didn’t help matters. 

He looked at me, with that look he gives, and said “You know you can dance circles around me all you want, and you’re probably right, but that’s not the point.  There’s a way to do it, and there’s a way to do it Harrington.”

And he was right.  My gesture was truly thoughtless in the purest sense, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was insulting.  A year later, on the first day of school, a different history teacher threatened to jam a nalgene bottle into a student’s jaws if he ever yawned like that in his class again.  A little intense, but keep in mind this is a man who bit his dog back in order to teach him a lesson.  (No, the dog never bit him again.  Unfortunately, he didn’t employ the same technique to teach his child.) 

The way you do something matters.  The other day a woman I work with came in and asked me to do a favor.  A whole bunch of crazy landed on her that day, and she didn’t have time to get something done.  “So, even though I know this is way below your pay grade, would you have time to do this for me?” she asked. 

And I gladly did.  She acknowledged that I was doing her a personal favor, and that she knows I am both capable of and paid to do more complicated tasks than photcopying and mailing. 

She found the right way to do it.

House of God

I never realized till I went to France just how comforting I find houses of worship.

We were wandering around Rouen (allegedly “touring”) and I was a homesick mess.  I had left the US almost directly from the junior prom with my boyfriend and I knew he wouldn’t be there when I got back.  I had  only slept 7 of the previous 57 hours by the time I got to my first day in France.  It was colder than I thought and I didn’t have warm enough clothes or blankets, I had eaten a baby cow without knowing it, and I had been forced to eat congealed orange coconut something or other out of la politesse.  Finally, no one seemed to comprehend my need to sleep or my unintelligible, sleep-deprived French.

So in this state of mind, I looked at old french things and tried not to fall asleep or kill anyone.  I also tried to eat a butter and ham and butter and cheese sandwich.  Then we went into l’Église Jean d’Arc, or Joan of Arc church.

The church is made with pieces from the old stone cathedral combined with both new and old wooden parts.  Given the damage from the first world war, the citizens of Rouen feared for the safety of their architectural and religious wonders and so dismantled them for reconstruction later.  The inside looks like the inside of a boat, with fishing allusions everywhere.  The pews (benches for the heathens) are curved pieces of wood carved whole.  I just sat there and soaked the place in, and felt the beauty and the familiar, despite being an ocean and a language away from home.

That was the first time I realized that being in a church calms me down and makes me comfortable.

But the serenity I feel is not limited to churches.  Some days, I wander in to St. Cecelia’s or Mission Church, better known as the place where Teddy Kennedy’s funeral was held.  But in Egypt, one of my absolute favorite places was the Citadel and al-Azhar Mosque.  We were there when it was rather quiet and empty, and entirely serene.  I’m told it’s not usually like this, but I loved it.  You could just tell it was a holy place.  I walked around alone and barefoot, comfortable (despite the heat) in the several layers it took to be dressed appropriately.

We conversed in hushed whispers and looked out over what we knew to be a harrowingly chaotic city, but everything just felt like an exhale.

Linguist

Paul Grew currently holds the title of Family Linguist, but I think I come in at a close second. 

Many people look at foreign languages as insurmountable and, well, foreign.  So here are a few tips from someone who has done pretty well for herself with language. 

1. Don’t be afraid to sound like an idiot.  You need to speak in order to get better, and you will inevitably sound like a child.  Get over this and you will improve rapidly. 
2. Look for cognates.  The better your english vocabulary and grammar is, the easier the other languages will be, especially if you go with a Germanic or Romance language.  Don’t worry if you’re bad at grammar, I’ve seen and experienced greater understanding of our own grammar concepts after learning the same one in a different language. 
3. Pay attention the first time around.  I have been able to retain all those years of high school French avec Madame because I really learned and understood the concepts to begin with.  Now, when I review, it is just that. 
4. See number one.  Yes, it’s that important that you speak often.  I came back from France a much better speaker than many of my friends because they were timid, so I was always the one ordering our food, asking for directions and trying to find the changing room.  Those who didn’t speak barely got anything out of the trip, linguistically. 
5. Expose yourself to the language as much as possible.  This means movies, television shows, children’s books, music, whatever.  Your ear will get faster and your accent will improve. 

What’re your sure-fire tips for picking up/keeping up a language?  I know some of you are abroad now (Jackie) or will be soon (Miss Sarah) and some have had to deal with trying to maintain fluency after returning (Michelle.)  There are also a whole bunch of you who speak foreign languages (Aunt Sue, Dad, Kev) just as well if not better than me.  How did you do it?

¿Por Que?

I realize that the previous post adressing this topic never fully answered the question, but it was also a finished piece of writing. 

So here, in list form, are the reasons I’m going to Cuba:

1. Practicar mi español.  I’m not worried about ever losing my French, and while I do worry about my Arabic, I have plans for that too.  NU can’t offer me competetive language courses in Boston, so elsewhere I shall go. 
2. Economics.  There aren’t enough bleeding hearts in economics because classical economics is for assholes.  Sorry, but it’s true.  I will not be deterred, because I think Muhammad Yunus is a rockstar and that economics could be the key to eleveating many of the worlds problems.  That’s the connection between me and economics.  Do I need to make the connection between economics and Cuba?  No?  Good. 
3. I need something to write about.  Yes, my self esteem is way too closely tied to this blog, but that’s not what I mean.  If you read what I had to say about Cuba being illegal as well as why I write this blog, this is a direction I want my life to go in.  I care about educating people and I think this is my best shot at it.  I have the priviledge to go to school where I do, travel to unusual places and posess the language skills to communicate with the local population.  It is my duty to pass on whatever I can from those experiences. 

Finally, there’s the biggie that I keep finding myself saying: I can’t say no.  If you had this opportunity, would you turn it down? 

That’s not rhetorical. 

Have you ever had the opportunity to travel somewhere (or do anything, reall) that you turned down?  I’ve had a couple, which I’ll talk about later, but I’d love to hear from you guys.

Why?

Many people have asked me “Why Cuba?” 

Most often, my answer is, “because it’s illegal.”  I’ve been told that this sounds childish.  No Kidding. 

In part, I am joking.  There is a certain appeal to going somewhere you shouldn’t, but there are many logical, acceptable reasons for me to go to Cuba. 

Then there’s the part of me that’s not kidding.  I do want to go places that are illegal and/or unlikely.  Why?  Because that’s what I want my life to be about.  So many Americans will never go to Cuba or the Middle East or a whole bunch of other places.  A big part of why I blog is to educate those who will never have this opportunity. 

I mean really, how often do you get to read a first-hand account of an American in Cuba? 

So perhaps I’m not being childish after all.  Perhaps I think it’s childish to be afraid of a country because of a decades-long and decades-old grudge.

The Rum Diary

You have no idea how tempted I was to rename this blog The Rum Diary.  But if I did, a ton of people wouldn’t get it (which would depress me) and they’d be all disturbed that the name of an alcoholic beverage is involved, despite the fact that I’d be legal to drink everywhere, (especially Cuba) by the time I got to writing it.  On the other hand, a clever few would totally get the reference, and they’d know that there’s a whole lot more to be worried about than the name of an alcoholic beverage if I’m drawing these sorts of allusions.  A classic lose-lose-lose-lose-lose.

The real reason though, is that changing the title would mean that I had to, in order to reflect my new setting.  Which implies (not infers) that the blog was named after my setting to begin with, which simply isn’t so.  This blog isn’t about Cuba, any more than it’s about Egypt.  And away laughing on a fast camel doesn’t have to take place on a camel, or in some sort of desert setting.

Laughing on a fast camel is a state of mind, a way to react to the absurd situations I find myself in, like being on a camel that decides it wants to be al-Seabiscuit.  (Yes, that was inappropriate.  See, I can be politically incorrect too.)

This blog is about a lot of things, like politics, language, cultural exchange, social relations, gender dynamics and travel. But it’s not about Cuba or about Egypt or about Thailand.  It’s about making sense out of what happens when you mash a bunch of very different people together, and doing it with a smile and an open mind.

So take that, Hunter.

Coming Out Party

I’m going to Cuba.  For a semester.  Starting pretty much right after New Year’s.

Surprise!

Sorry I’ve kept this way on the dl, for reasons both personal and logical.  I didn’t know if I would be allowed to apply, I didn’t know if I would get accepted, and I didn’t know if the trip would actually happen.

Even more surprising, is that this idea has been around for a while.  A little more than a year ago I mentioned it casually to my dad, who I assumed would shoot it down.  I should have known better.  As much as dad is always getting all worked up and worried that I’ll get myself into some sort of trouble with my curious, opinionated rabble-rousing ways, I know that we’re basically the same person.  Which means that he wishes he could go to Cuba too.

Since then, the idea was in the back of my mind.  After Egypt I knew I wouldn’t be staying in this country long, but due to co-op I would have to stay at least six months.  I casually mentioned the idea to a few friends as a “someday” possibility at the end of the summer, but then I let it drop.

One Thursday, I panicked and thought the deadline for Cuba was closer than it turned out to be.  At the idea of not being able to go, I suddenly realized the myriad reasons why I absolutely NEED to go.  By that Tuesday I had applied.

Since then it’s been my bizarro little secret, with only Sarah, Alex, Marisa and my immediate family in the loop.  I saw no reason to get everyone all worked up if I didn’t get in.  But now I’m going.  So there!

I feel like this is a press conference.  But given the last sentence of the previous paragraph, a press conference for a toddler.

I want this blog to be a lot more interactive.  I love travel, politics, language and culture, but I also love education.  I love educating myself and I love the act of spreading knowledge, which is a big part of why I started this blog.  Many of you will never go to Cuba or Egypt, or any third (or second!) world country.  But I will.  So much of what we hear about these places is misunderstood, over-simplified or flat-out false.

So live vicariously through me.  Leave comments with your questions.  Do you think I’ll be safe?  Do you think I’ll be able to send/receive mail?  Do you think people will hate us there?  Do you think people will speak English?  I want your impressions of Cuba.  Does it make you think of Scarface and cigars, or Hunter S. Thompson and rum?

I promise to answer the questions, especially the safety one.  I already know answers to some of them (especially the safety one!) but I would love to hear your impressions of Cuba, whether they’re based on books and movies or our President and the news.

Is the Embargo Evil?

The UN condemned the US for the embargo on Cuba.  First, I have to stress how incredibly strong the language is.  The word “condemn” doesn’t get tossed around the UN the way average people use it, so this is actually a stronger action than it may first appear.  Also, the UN knows our current president is one who responds to and respects international opinion, which is perhaps why no one bothered condemning this practice while dubya was in office.

My mom and I were talking about this the other day, and it seems like a lot of people we know are unsure about what the embargo means for Cubans and Americans, both now and for the future.  I don’t know nearly as much as I should about it, but here’s my take on it so far:

• Under Bush, Cuban-Americans could only visit immediate family members (no going to see grandma without your parents present, tough luck if they passed away) once every three years, for a period of two weeks
• Also under Bush, Cuban-Americans can only send a max of 100 USD a year to their family.  While this does make a huge impact on an average Cuban’s life, it doesn’t seem fair that the government can stop Cuban-Americans from sending more.  This american currency that comes in also creates quite a disparity amongst those with wealthy relatives who fled to Miami, NYC or wherever, and those who do not.
• Obama has taken steps to change both of these practices, which in my mind is a good thing.
• The embargo isn’t just on America.  Any ship that goes to Cuba has to wait six months before it can go to America.
• Despite this, the US has done some trade (somewhere around 17 mill last year) with Cuba
• If the embargo is suddenly lifted, th
• Obama is taking steps to ease the burdens on average citizens in Cuba, and their American relatives (see above).  However, he has said that while he is open to normalizing relations, he will not do so until the Cuban takes serious steps, eg democratic elections.  In my mind, this is a smart political move for Obama as it makes lives better in Cuba in the short term, but puts the ball firmly in Castro’s court.  Obama keeps his campaign promises without looking like a pushover.
• While I personally believe in lifting the embargo, it could have disastrous consequences for Cubans.  There are many ways to liberalize (in the IR/econ sense, not the American political) an economy, and the two governments need to tread lightly otherwise they could seriously devastate the Cuban economy.  Rise has cost the same thing for the last fifty years, due to government subsidies, and an influx of world trade would most likely change that.  We don’t want another Jamaica on our hands.

This is just my current understanding of the situation, after what I would consider surface level research.  If you have any great links or an opinion on the embargo, sound off in the comments section.

10/23/1913

Very rarely do we face a quantifiable loss.  We choose the wrong path, don’t get a job or get dumped.  You always doubt yourself, wonder what could have been, but there’s no one to tell you what exactly that might have been.

I know what i lost.  they calculated it for me.  I lost a decade.

on my 12th birthday, we buried my nana.  today would’ve been her 96th birthday.

i know how much we lost because her death was wrongful, whatever that means.  so they had to calculate the years of life that were taken from her, and put a dollar amount on the suffering and loss of her five children, eleven grandchildren and five (soon to be seven) great-grandchildren.

I don’t know the dollar amount.  no one ever told me.  i never had to give a deposition.  as far as i know, none of the grandchildren did.  i don’t even think my father went, and he was like a son to her.  To my knowledge, my father has only actually cried twice, and the night nana died was the only time i witnessed it.

if i had been just a little bit older and more forceful, i would’ve insisted on being at the trial.  or hearing.  whatever.  just like i would have refused to be sent out of the room for her last moments.  but i was eleven.  i was in the dark on a lot of things.  apparently, people knew she was going to die.  i had no idea.  for forty days and forty nights, from the infamous election to its result, which she apparently so disliked she vacated the planet entirely, i was under the impression she would get better.  i also was the last to know anything had even happened to her.  i went to bed early that night and the next day everyone assumed i knew.

at one point, there were plans to move her to my house for recovery, after the hospital and the rehab.  i guess i was too young to realize when they stopped talking about those plans.

I find that as much as doubt eats away at us, it’s hard knowing exactly what i lost.  she would be here, alive, for this.  i often find myself wondering what the hell she would think of who I’ve become.

I look at Fritz, her cousin and best friend, who just turned 95.  Fritz, who I spent every summer with down the Cape, Fritz who had a mind like a diamond.  Fritz who thinks she’s 96 and doesn’t know who I am.  Times like that, it makes me wonder if it isn’t better this way.  Sure, at the end Nana was like that on some days.  But as long as those 40 days felt, it couldnt have been harder than i think it must be for my cousin Paul to watch his Fritz slip away.

Happy Birthday Nana–maybe this year I’ll even celebrate mine.  Slainte and god bless.

addendum: started watching a random movie as a distraction.  five minutes in and a major plotpoint is that the heroine’s grandmother died on december 16.  claro.